Prosperity Counseling - Mental Health Blog | Resources from Prosperity Counseling Ypsilanti, MI

Relationships require work no matter the relationship.

5/13/2021

Interpersonal relationships are unavoidable. It seems so common that when people think of relationships they think of romantic ones, but we all know that not all relationships are romantic. Relationships can also be platonic (friend status), professional (like with a therapist, doctor), co-worker, and an acquaintance (local barista). Regardless of the label we place on a relationship, all relationships require work. They require communication, boundary setting, respect, mutual enjoyment, etc. When we put in the work, like kneading dough, often times we realize the relationship needs more work. Relationships are ongoing work. The hope would be if we put in the work the result is the relationship we hope to acquire. However, relationships require work from both parties. If you are willing to do the work and your romantic partner isn't, is this a relationship you want? Is it worth it? If you do the work and your friend doesn't, is this a friendship you want? It takes two. Sometimes we have to reevaluate what it is we value (want) in a relationship such as respect, shared interests. In the end, this all requires work, but that doesn't mean the work is impossible. Sometimes the work is hard and sometimes it's easy. The hope is in the end you get the desired product you have worked so hard to achieve!

2 Comments

Parental Mental Health

3/31/2021

3 Comments

Parental mental health. I attempt to make it a common topic of discussion when I start to see new children and teen clients, and I normalize the how common it is for parents to have mental health issues. I make the topic a part of my discussion in intakes and the following beginning sessions. When I do parent skill training, the topic of emotion regulation (ability to have control over one's emotional state) is always brought up. Why? If parents aren't happy children aren't happy.

I once learned of an analogy of a rubber band. Imagine a parent has one end of a rubber band and the child has the other end of the rubber band. The parent gives an instruction like, "Pick up the toys and put them in the toy box, now, please." The child gets upset and pulls back the rubber band. The rubber band starts to stretch. The parent then gets angry. The rubber band stretches more, and the child becomes more upset. The rubber band stretches even more. If the parent doesn't regulate their emotions the child will continue to get more upset, and the rubber band could snap and/or break and hurt someone. However, if the parent remains calm while the child pulls on the rubber band, the child will eventually calm down and the rubber band will not snap and/or hurt someone.

Children of parents with mental health issues are more likely to have mental health issues themselves according to research (Rishel, 2006). In a literature review (Gladstone, 2011), studies were compared to look at the effects of parental mental health on children. The literature review found that out of 10 studies reviewed, out of the children who's parents reported having a mental illness children were reported to have a high risk of developing mental illness themselves or behavioral issues. Also, there were tendencies for these children to struggle with cognition development, negative view of themselves, and a high risk for learning disabilities. Out of those children within the literature review, only 78% of parents reported seeking mental health services at the time of information being gathered.

Parental mental health is very important. When the rain pours it can be hard to see anything else. Parents are children's best teachers. Children need their parents to be mental present, calm, and consistent to help teach children the skills they need to be successful. If you are a parent struggling with mental health issues, you aren't alone, and it's okay for you to get help to.

Gladstone, B. M., Boydell, K. M., & McKeever, P. D. (2011). Children's experiences of parental mental illness: a literature review.
Rishel CW, Greeno CG, Marcus SC, Anderson C. Effect of maternal mental health problems on child treatment response in community-based services. Psychiatric Services. 2006;57:716–719

3 Comments

The Trauma Knot

3/22/2021

0 Comments

As a trauma specialist, I try to find creative ways to explain difficult topics. I provide Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to children and teens, and I provided Prolonged Exposure Therapy to adults. One time I was in a session trying to explain what PTSD is and how trauma treatment could help, and the image of a knotted necklace came up. I though of my own experience of the frustration of trying to unknot the necklace by myself and how I gave up so many times. I brought this analogy to session. Example of how a possible conversation could go:

Me: Have you ever had a necklace or a shoelace get a knot before (could be yarn, string, shoelace)?
Client: Yes.
Me: What was that like for you?
Client: Frustrating. I just get rid it.
Me: Yeah. It sounds like that was pretty stressful.
Client: It was.
Me: Trauma is kind of like the knot in the necklace or shoelace, accept we carry around this knot where ever we go. You throwing the necklace or shoelace away is like avoidance. What lead you to throw the necklace or shoelace away?
Client: I didn't want to deal with it.
Me: Right. It caused you distress. You tried to undue the knot on your own. The difference here is, you don't have to undue the knot by yourself. That's what I am here for. To walk you through each step. To help you hold the knot in your hand, to see it differently, and help you unravel the knot that was created by the bad things you have experienced. Have you ever stuck a necklace in a small space and it becomes knotted? Or pick up a shoe wondering what happened to the shoelace?
Client: Yeah.
Me: Trauma is like that. Something happens and it changes us just like how the tight space changed the necklace. Just like you would undue the knot, we will be attempting to change how trauma has you view the world and yourself, as well as helping you feel like you can cope with the distress.

0 Comments

Roller Coaster Feelings

3/17/2021

0 Comments

One time in a session, I was meeting with a child, and I was teaching the child about emotion regulation and assessing to see what kind of feelings this child could recognize. When I began to explain what feelings are, all of a sudden, the image of a roller coaster came to mind. In teaching my client about feelings and how they change, I drew a roller coaster. I asked my client if they had ever been on a roller coaster. Prior to using an analogy, I like to see if the client can relate to the analogy in order to make the analogy meaningful. This client had, thankfully lol. So, I said, "Sometimes we have roller coaster feelings. One moment we can feel one way and in the blink of an eye we can feel another way. Sometimes we can feel more than one feeling at once, and that's okay. Can you tell me what feelings you know?" I don't remember if that's exactly how I said that, but close enough. I had the client use different colors to draw the track of the roller coaster to represent different feelings. I found this to be a great way to teach about emotion regulation and to assess for feelings. I hope you find this helpful. Please feel free to comment about the positive aspects of this intervention, and you are welcome to provide constructive feedback!

0 Comments

Abadie, M.S., LPC

Relationships require work no matter the relationship.

Parental Mental Health

The Trauma Knot

Roller Coaster Feelings